Uncertain Times: From An Easy Life To A Skewed Norman Rockwell Outlook

A photoless vent.

Why is life so stressful?  It seems like all my life things have been easy.  And I really mean that.  I've always known I'd have food on the table.  I've always known there'd be a paycheck and if there wasn't; we had savings.  I've always had someone sleeping next to me to warm my feet on and cry to.  There was always something to look forward to; though that hasn't changed.  I've always had somewhere warm to live.  I've always loved or felt loved to one degree or another.

I have faith in myself that I will always be able to put food on the table, provide somewhere warm to live, work hard enough and I will always have something to look forward to.  No matter how bad things get they will always get better.  There is no one in my bed to warm my feet on or cry to now.  

There is a tremendous feeling of guilt for me and for him, but also the knowing that it wouldn't be smart to keep going; and if we had we would've eventually hated each other.  That is not something I ever want to happen.  I want him to always be a part of my life and a friend.  Just because we can't be married and are perfectly unsuitable as roomates, does not mean we can't be friends.  He is the father of my children and there is a certain amount of love that goes with that.  I can't brush aside ten years of my life and a relationship with someone that was more good than bad.  It just wasn't the right good and the bad, was a sign of worse to come; I am fully confident in that.  In fact, I have never been so sure of anything in my life.  But being so sure about this one thing has turned my easy life upside-down.  Things will be hard; they will get better.  

Uncertainty is a venom in my veins that threatens to give me ulcers and cast me to the corner in lethargy out of mental exhaustion.

The calls have been made, the paperwork being completed, the plans taking shape, the making and mending of relationships and the new places to be and people to be with.  

There is a little joy in uncertainty, but that is for the Norman Rockwell mind - at least the California-Cassie version.  I have many thoughts in my mind of what I could be, how happy my children will be and how smart they are and will become... where will I be in five years?  Hopefully somewhere close to the beach and most certainly somewhere creative and happy and perhaps with someone who wants those things, too.  

I will always have a camera around my neck, an apron covered in clay, and two girls at my hip.  My eyes will always be green and I will never stop sending back my steaks when they are wrong.  I will always love the ocean, the smell and the sand.  I will always love Autumn in Wisconsin, the smell and the chill.

I am the same person I was.  I'm just a bit wiser and quite a bit more cautious and less of an optimist than I once was; still impatient though and passionate and helpful.

Well that is my vent.  I'm feeling sad, but better and relieved to some degree.  I'm glad for everyone who has made me who I am or has taught me wonderful things or loved me unconditionally.

Love and cheers!  -Cassie

Lead Paint & Ambient Light

The building my gallery show is in has been converted out of an old factory and contains tons of storage that has been untouched for years. Here are some of the images I gathered one day using Shawn's 85mm F1.4 lens. I wandered around alone through the 4 floors of storage and dilapidated architecture and up to the roof.

A view looking outside to the roof.I love the color of that tank; looks so cool with everything else in this shot!

An old fashioned printer makes use of the building as well; here are some of his press pieces.
I think it's amazing what ambient light does with lead paint and random storage; beautiful.
Yes, I was alone.... I eventually got the heebie-jeebies but at least it was when I was on the way back down or I wouldn't have gotten so many images.
Some very random collections of items that somehow seem like they should go together.
A peek through a stairwell at a hidden room used for packing boxes. Some of the building is still in use for packing and shipping, but not on Sundays, when I was there.
Love this image; I don't think this fan was too, too old, it probably still works, but it's neat in front of the window.
Some OOFing around with a stair railing.
Some details I like, show the age of the building up close.
More random storage; actually a heap of couch cushions from the '70's. Just beyond here and up around the corner to the left are some old hospital beds and medical equipment... need to go back to capture those!
Another one to show the age.. this is what was holding up the floor above me!?
I love the light spiking through from underneath the stairs.
Up on the roof! Some detail shots.
I think they efficiently used tar here... hm.
Pressed aluminum is so cool.. haha, especially painted brick red too.
Tar can lids. Love the colors.
I think these wires and wood were part of the mechanism controlling the beastly fire doors.
Curved conveyors, in case you were wondering.
A fire waiting to happen, but makes a nice picture.
I want these in my house!
Love these paint colors!
Wonder who KH was...
This floor was creepy.
Another closer shot of those cushions.
Not much to say; but I think it's lovely.
The second floor of the building was most recently a gym; it's now going to be converted into offices.
I don't think that plastic is doing much to keep the air out.
Detail shot of an old printing press.
Printing press and a nice drawing table in the foreground.
Sorry, there's no banjo in there; I only wish!
Well, obviously these were out of order, but you get the gist of my journey through this building. I am going back for sure! I'll have to be there again anyway for my show.. more family pictures soon as I'm still working on those too! Thanks for the look! -Cassie

5 Generations

Some family images from Memorial Day weekend. My family and I went back up to Wisconsin for the extended weekend to celebrate my cousin's graduation. My daughter, Ivy turned 1 on our trip, so my mom made her favorite cake she had as a kid on the farm.

My daughter, Ivy and my husband at my cousin's graduation.
My sister wanted a picture of her cat, "big kitty" or "goofy" as was his original name.
These images are not in any sort of order, by the way. Zoe, my oldest looking pretty exhausted. She loves black olives though!
Ivy in her stroller.
A piece of her Grandma's cake! She was pretty cranky-tired by now, but she's a good eater, especially when it comes to cake.
My Mother's, parents, lol, my grandparents at my cousin's graduation party.
And, oh, my! Before I forget; a five generation picture! From left to right in the back row: My daughter, Zoe and my sister, Truly, my grandpa, Allan, then Me. In the front row: My great grandma, Goldie and then my mom, Nadine holding my daughter, Ivy. This was taken at the Grad party.
Zoe helping Ivy blow out her candle.
My little bald baby, the bow wasn't my idea, and my very bald, newly shaven, husband, Jerome.
Was that some sort of magic, Zoe? My husband's father, Jackson, hiding behind Zoe.

Well, thanks for the look! Many more pictures to come... many non-family images to upload and a busy weekend ahead! And my weekend starts tomorrow, ugh. Feedback is always welcome!

Human Pyramids & Handstands

So I am finally done with my wedding post-production. Yay, and this weekend I have 2 more weddings! Well one I am second shooter for and the other is actually my first solo wedding.. needless to say I'm a bit nervous; but I'm feeling confident about my work lately so I'm excited too! Alright, to the images:

This is a setup my boss tries to include at each wedding; the lighting was gorgeous at sunset so this turned out beautifully!
So to the antics! Whilst my boss, Shawn, was doing some formal stuff with the bridesmaids, I had the boys to myself and actually this took no prompt at all, they just thought it would be cool to do some handstands; I thought so too! Notice the bearded man in the background is frolicking.
After the handstands we were trying to think of another fun setup; action was sort of a theme that day with the wind.. so I thought it would be cool if they jumped off of something; I was thinking more like a curb or rock or something, but no, one of them yelled, "The roof!!" Yep, there they are on the roof!
I guess this is how you do GQ on the roof of a hall...
A pretty ceremony shot.
They had a brass quartet on board for the ceremony and reception.
Another one; I think this was pre-ceremony.
My boss is also obsessed with the Reservoir Dogs shot; we do this every wedding, but I love it! Did a blue burned overlay; don't usually like doing any Photoshopping to this extreme, but in this instance its totally appropriate.

And now, yes, the human pyramid! I love this! I can't believe we actually got them to do this; not really; they were more than willing and so was the bride. We often joke at other weddings that it would be fun to build a human pyramid.. usually just some laughs and raised eyebrows as response, but man, we can tell them we've done it now!
They formed a cheering tunnel for entering the hall after the ceremony, yelling, "Whooooo!" whenever someone came through; really entertaining for a dry wedding, lol.
One, two, three...jump!
Our tired, quiet, little flower girl, hiding behind the cheering squad.
Money shot, as far as weddings go anyway. Some dramatic lighting, happy groom and bride and some interesting framing of the couple. It's a really nice; quiet moment inside the ceremony.
And let me not forget, while the boys were on the roof I had them go to the windows. We ran inside and shot a few pics of them; the bride thought it was hilarious!
Ah, and to the flowers again. Yes he is pretending to eat them.. I think we were directing them to act feminine with the flowers, for fun, and this is what he chose..?
Another from sunset.

The bridesmaids couldn't lift the groom, lol. I thought this one was cool because the bride looks so comfortable and everyone else looks so awkward.

Hey thanks for the read and look; I have some family editing to start working on now, so a new blog soon. Raining all day; at least there aren't any tornado warnings tonight. -Cassie

First Blog: OOF-ed Up Wedding

The most recent project going on is a wedding I shot as second shooter last month. I am working on the post-production, but man is it slow going; there are just a lot of good images so I'm having a hard time chopping down the numbers. This was a really fun wedding besides; the groomsmen were crazy! Anyway, here are a few of the images!

If this hadn't been such an OOF image, it would have been great! What a dirty musician!
Some cool clouds. I was down in the grass by the woods looking up at them on a hill.
Hehe, I don't know why he was holding the bride's bouquet, but he looked good holding it.. oddly.
Can't believe I caught a good angle for those engraved lighters; I didn't even realize they were engraved until after going through my images. Looks like an ad!
Got them to climb up on the roof.. er, more on that later, lol.
On the far left is the father of the bride; nice guy. Don't know who the cowboy guy is, but I like this image.
I guess their neighbor works at Starbucks; so because this was an alcohol free wedding they decided to have an espresso bar; yum to their chilled mochas!
My exposure was hot on this one, so with some tweaking and desaturation I think it turned out well.
They did many things with the girls' flowers; more of those to come; fun image.
Hehehe! Speaks for itself, I think!
We were headed over to the aforementioned grassy area and I snapped this mid-trot. Actually we're all walking pretty casually but the wind that day was pretty strong so she looks like a runaway bride.Anyway, this was a long, hot, tornado warning kind of day and I'm still not done with my post-production on this wedding; of which I will post more images when I'm finished. -Cassie